Reverse Psychology: The Art of Persuading

Reverse Psychology: The Art of Getting People to Do Things by Pretending You Don’t Want Them To

Reverse psychology is like verbal judo. It’s the sly little cousin of persuasion, the one that doesn’t ask you to do anything, but strongly suggests you rebel in the exact way they were hoping for. And the best part? It works like magic, especially if the person you're talking to has a mild issue with authority. (So, basically, everyone.)

As a comedian and a bit of a psychology nerd, I love this stuff. Because not only is reverse psychology effective, it’s funny. Especially when you know you’re doing it. Or even better… when they don’t.

What Is Reverse Psychology?

It’s the act of encouraging someone to do the opposite of what you actually want them to do, knowing full well they’ll rebel and do exactly what you hoped.

It’s saying:

“Whatever you do, don’t eat that last biscuit.”

Knowing full well they’ll hover near the tin for ten minutes before giving in. Because humans are weird like that.

It Starts Young

Ever tried getting a toddler to put on their coat?

“No, no, don’t put your coat on. You look far too cool without it. You’ll probably freeze, but hey, fashion.”

Next thing you know, they’re zipped up like a puffball, their idea.

Why Does It Work?

Reverse psychology plays on our innate need for autonomy. We like to choose our actions. Tell someone what to do directly, and their inner toddler goes, “Nope!” But make it look like you don’t care or that they shouldn’t… suddenly, they’re all in.

It’s not manipulation, it’s motivation with a comedic twist. A bit of mischief in service of momentum.

Real-Life Example

I worked with Dr Brian Kaplan on an audio app called Clubhouse. We invited people to tell us what they wanted to change in their lives. One lady wanted to stop drinking one glass of wine at 7.00pm every night. It was a habit she couldn’t break. Brian and I had 1 min each to be absurd, with a kind heart and a glint in the eye, we roasted her habit. My argument was her obsession with time; she must drink the wine, but by gulping it at 10.00pm. She came back to the show a two weeks later with a new distaste for wine and hadn’t touched a drop… nor gin, if that’s what you were thinking!

Comedy + Psychology = Power

As a performer, I often use reverse psychology on stage too:

“You probably won’t relate to this story at all… unless you’ve ever had a job, a boss, a nervous system or a mother.”

People laugh because they do relate, and I gave them permission not to. It takes the pressure off. It softens the resistance. It lets people step forward, rather than being shoved.

Reverse psychology works because it plays with human nature and some of the internal thinking ‘parts’ of ourselves, not against them. It lets people feel in control, even as you nudge them in the direction of their own brilliance.

So next time you want someone to do something… tell them not to. With a glint in the eye.

Like this kind of humour-meets-human-behaviour stuff? Come see a show. Or don’t. Whatever.